To my Mom and Dad.

parents who know how to be good parents. This is your guidebook

and dignity in children and young adults. These same techniques

INTRODUCTION

      I have been instructing children in karate for more than nine

years and I have learned much from teaching martial arts. A lot

of that learning involves parents and parenting. I’ve often had

to correct, discipline or motivate children and I’ve made plenty

of mistakes in doing so. Karate is an excellent learning tool for

teacher as well as student. I would like to share what I’ve

learned to help you when you need to correct, discipline or

motivate your children.

       My view is almost that of a spectator watching a movie or

reading a book. In those situations you know exactly what you

would do or what the character should do. You are removed

from the situation and look at it from a distance. It’s not that

you don’t care, it’s just that you see the situation objectively.

The characters’ errors are obvious. Looking back now, I see the

errors I and many parents have made.

way to grow and learn. I’ve seen parents make decisions for

their children that I knew could turn out disastrously. I also

knew that those parents made that decision believing whole

heartedly that it was the best thing for the child. Good parenting

makes you totally involved so each and every decision is made

with emotion, especially love. Logic is not always involved and

this can cause turmoil for parents because all you ever want is

the very best for your child.

       My story begins in 1994 when I opened my first martial arts

school, Action Karate. I was only 20 years old. I had been

teaching for a few years and thought I knew a lot. What did I

know about business or teaching children? I didn’t know much

about either, but I did know karate. My partner Jacqueline and I

wanted to have the best karate school around. We wanted lots

of students. We wanted to be number one: the most confident,

disciplined and physically elite. And we worked day and night

to market our business, enroll the new students, teach the classes,

clean the school, and work other jobs to pay the bills and go

to college full time. It was a good thing we were young,

because we really needed that energy to keep up our strict

schedule with enthusiasm.

       I really began to love teaching. And I thought I was great at

it. I especially liked teaching the children who were just like little

soldiers. There were a few of them who were always put

together just right: not a hair out of place, uniforms always neat

and ironed, and the belt never falling off. They were happy to

come to class and excited to “yes sir” and “no sir” me with just

the right amount of enthusiasm. They were the “A” students.

You knew they were going to show up for class on time and

you could count on them to lead everybody else.

       We were getting lots of “A” students, so many that we took

the best of the “A”s and created a special team for them, the

demo team. They would travel to local venues and camps

demonstrating the martial arts talents and the skills necessary to

earn a black belt. One rule for being appointed to the demo

team was to have dedication and commitment to earning your

black belt. They were required to join a special program called

the black belt course. The course was for students who knew

without a doubt, they would never quit. Nothing would get in

the way of achieving that goal. Their parents approved a special

permission slip so that everyone knew this was a serious commitment.

One boy in particular, John, was training in the black

belt training course and was invited to join the demo team. He

showed up for all of his practices and trained as hard as he

could. He was really advancing through the system and we

knew for sure that John would be one of the greatest Black Belts

that our school ever produced.

       Then it happened - John quit and it felt like a knife through my

heart! It was getting too hard for him and he wanted to stay

home and play with his friends. I was sure that this was a temporary

set back, common to most children at one point or

another. I believed his parents would talk to him about commitment

and the importance of completing set goals and bring him

back to class the next week. Boy was I wrong. His parents

thought it was crazy to make their child do anything that he didn’t

black belt. I knew in my heart that those parents were making a

mistake. Allowing Johnny to quit would set the precedent for a

lifetime of quitting. John was an “A” student. Just imagine what

can happen to the “B” and “C” students.

teacher and as a motivator, not just to John, but to his family

and his future. I made a decision to read as much as I could on

parenting and motivation and attend as many seminars on the

subject as possible. I had to become an expert on the subject

of parenting and combine that with the discipline of karate if I

level.

       Our school did well, we graduated hundreds of black belts.

What happened between 1994 and today? A lot! I learned a lot

about motivating children and about motivating adults. My goal

in this book is to share with others the fun and frenzy about

kids, about how to correct, discipline and motivate them and

how to keep it all positive.