Chapter 11

Robert Frost

       There are many ways to say “Be a role model,” but only one

way to do it. Take Action.

It’s important to want to be a good parent, but it’s also important

to have the skills to be a good role model.

       How well you decide to raise your children is entirely dependent

on your morals, values, ideology and largely how you were

raised. Black Belt Parenting is a guide to help fill in the blanks

when there is no answer in your own value system. My intention

is that this book helps you build on your natural parenting

skills. It was written to give you small actions you can take to

enhance those skills, offering concrete recommendations and

help you guide your children in the right direction. Your children

are important. Every advantage you have in raising them will

make your life and their lives easier.

       This book is not an effort to replace your morals or to dictate

them. If you have a different strategy for teaching your child

consequences to his or her actions, that is okay. It is important

that you recognize various options and come up with a reasonable

justification for the option you choose. Will it make your

child a better person? Will it teach them a lesson? Does the

punishment fit the crime? If you answer yes to all three questions,

you have adequately thought through your actions and

you are making a logical decision on how to raise your child. It

is up to you to decide where there is room for improvement in

your parenting style.

       What unites every person reading this book and every person

who has children is that we all want what is best for our children

(no matter how many times we have to remind them of

that.) We want them to be respectful, goal-oriented, forward

thinking, compassionate, strong and happy. In the process,

though, we must have those attributes to show children how it

is done.

       Above all, the most effective way to teach values and morals

to your children is to consistently live them. If that means following

an organized religious doctrine for instance, do so faithfully.

Follow the religious principles, attend services regularly and

search for guidance through the institution.

       If one of your values is prioritizing relaxation over money, do so

faithfully. Do not lose sight of this, no matter how tempting it may

be. A common excuse of workaholics is the need for money.

Nowhere is this more apparent than among the wealthiest people.

       The Bradford children take karate twice a week and live in one

of the largest houses in the county. Maribelle, 7, and Frankie,

14, attend an exclusive private school and can afford all of the

luxuries in life, including new karate uniforms and any other

accessories they wish for. Each child comes to class wearing his

or her choice of uniforms, decorated with several patches, and

carrying top-of-the-line training weapons. The only thing missing

is their father.

       Franklin Bradford is a workaholic managing a stock-trading

group. He rarely comes into the school to see his children perform

in their designer uniforms. He rarely spends time with

them at all, except to write out checks. Maribelle and Frankie

are spoiled, yes, but they are also good kids. And they miss their

father. When Frankie earned his Black Belt, Mr. Bradford came

to the awards ceremony and I invited him to join us in class

more often. He said that he didn’t have time because of his

work.

          On one hand, I sympathize with the need to work really hard

to keep a good-paying job. On the other, I realize that a goodpaying

job isn’t worth much if you can’t enjoy time with your

children. If I were to ask Mr. Bradford what is more important to

him, I’m sure he would say his children. He certainly tried hard

to compensate for not being there by buying them things. He

wanted them to be happy.

       The disconnect lies in his behavior. He wants the best for his

children, but he fails to see what is the most valuable asset for

any child: time with mom and dad. He may say that money is

not as important as his children, but he isn’t showing it. What

lesson does that teach his children? First, that money is a priority.

Second, that it is okay to say one thing and do another. The

children are getting mixed messages. Being a role model means

being consistent with your message.

       The best thing for the children is for Mr. Bradford to sit down

with them and have a long talk about the value of money. He

would be well served to hold onto his wallet and hold out his

hand to hug his children, toss them a ball or walk them to the

ice-cream store. Frankie is at an age when he is getting ready to

start dating girls and take responsibility for himself. He needs

someone around who can offer him more than a green piece of

paper.

       Whatever your morals, stick to them.  Whatever your parenting

strategy, don’t sacrifice it just so

your child will be your friend. Take time to play with your children.

No matter how responsible and respected you are in your

daily life, you have a free pass to drop all of that professionalism

and perfectionism when you are with your child. The best way

to reach children and bring them to your level is to first go

down to theirs. Deep down you have the sensibilities of a child.

You have the desire to play and laugh all day. Inside you is a

person who wants to play peek-a-boo, or catch or hide and

seek. Let go of your inhibitions and let your playful side out. Go

beyond the role of and look at life from a kid’s level.

       Teenagers may not want a mom who critiques pop stars and

talks on the phone all day like they do. Sometimes, though, you

can be laid back about the music they listen to or clothes they

wear to relate on their level. Don’t let the generational gap

stand in the way.

       Age and experience separate you. Find something - anythingto

help you connect. They may not be enlightened by a “When

I was your age” story. They were not around in the world you

grew up in and are unlikely to relate to it. Look for something in

their world. Maybe you like some of the same movies, TV

shows, music or books. Talk about those things and invite the

teen to join you at the theatre, watching the tube or on a trip to

the bookstore. Remember that you are a parent, not a friend.

Just because you like a movie, that doesn’t mean it is appropriate

for your children. Don’t feel obligated to let them join you

in whatever they want. You make the rules. Every parent draws

the line in a different place. Teaching children lessons about life

and setting a good example may take an amazing amount of

endurance and strength.

A. J. Kitt

       Don’t play the blame game, even if you’re right. I get so disappointed

when I see good parents resorting to the blame game

whenever they or their child faces an obstacle. It is common

when there are problems in a school district or sports. If Timmy

loses in a baseball game, don’t blame it on a referee’s bad call,

simply say, “You played a great game.”

       In the past few years, there has been a spate of violence and

corruption in childrens sporting events – and it isn’t among the

tikes on the field. It’s the “role models” out in the stands who

are wreaking havoc, making fools of themselves and embarrassing

their children. In sports games, parents frequently fight with

each other or cuss out the coach or refs if the game isn't going

as well as they would like. Sometimes your child might not get

as much playing time as you would like. Sometimes a ref makes

a bad call. Other times another player gets away with a penalty

against your child. Yelling, screaming and fighting will not solve

the problem. Remember, no one can take away your child's talent.

As long as he or she works hard, their abilities will show on

the playing field, in spite of a few questionable calls. In the

game of life, there is a lot of room for human error.

       Refrain from blaming others – even if you believe they are culpable.

Blaming others sends the message that you are trying to

deflect responsibility. Think about what you can do to make the

situation better. This is not about out lasting someone in an

argument, getting in the last word, or proving you are right. We

are talking about being good role models for children.

It is no secret that your children will face obstacles in which

they won’t have the opportunity to blame someone else, even if

it’s not their fault. For example, if Damon works all night on a

homework assignment and the computer crashes, he faces a

serious challenge. And thought it’s not his fault, he still has to

figure out how to get the work done. He can’t call the school

and complain that the assignment put too much of a burden on

him. He can’t call the computer company and force them to

recover his lost work. Damon has seen his parents blame a referee’s

“bad call” for his own error on the ball field and he thinks

about following their example. Instead of solving the problem,

he starts thinking “How can I blame this on someone or some

thing else?”

       When Damon enters the work force, his boss may ask him to

do things that he can’t get done. He can blame others all he

wants, but the boss won’t want to hear it. He wants to hear

what Damon is going to do to fix the problem. And you want to

teach Damon, by your own behavior, how to take a situation

you can’t control and improve it. Teach him that when things

don’t go his way, he has to brainstorm to compensate for

unavoidable accidents or the mistakes of others. He has to try

to make the situation better for all involved.

       When a 13-year-old boy took scissors during arts and crafts

and cut off another girl’s hair he was suspended. How would

you expect his mother to react? Anger at the child? Happy that

the school prevented him from accidentally hurting someone or

himself? No, the mother in this case blamed the school! She

said the teachers shouldn’t have given him scissors in the first

place. “Students shouldn’t have access to scissors if the teachers

aren’t watching them. I don’t trust the school. How do I know

this kind of thing won’t happen again?”

       I agree that children should be reasonably supervised in

school, but there was no way a teacher could have been vigilant

enough to prevent that prank. If the teacher had kept a close

enough watch on the 13-year-old, the rest of the class would

have been relatively unsupervised. That boy was old enough to

know better and he made a poor decision. His mother needed

to take responsibility to punish her child. Her son needed to

take responsibility for what he did. When she made excuses,

she did demonstrative harm in that he thinks he didn’t do anything

wrong. If she didn’t teach him right from wrong, he

will continue the cycle of making excuses and will never learn

one of life’s most important lessons – take responsibility for

your own actions.

       Keeping children in line is increasingly difficult as they age.

The older a child is, the less likely he or she is to learn from your

mistakes. As you will read in the upcoming story, three-year-old

Jen learned that stealing is wrong after she and her mother were

punished at the supermarket. A 14-year-old won’t be so quick to

learn a lesson. Any mistake you make that is counter to your

message is like kicking a pit bull. The child will latch onto that

flaw and won’t let go. The jaws of childhood stubbornness will

dig into your hypocrisy and a 14-year-old has stronger jaws than

a young child. Don’t give the child an opportunity to bite.

Mark Twain

       A common example of a parent’s actions not matching words

is smoking. Children who see their parents smoke insist that it’s

okay. Remember, it’s not what you say. It’s what you do. If the

child sees the parent who smokes as happy, healthy and loving,

the connection between smoking and disease will never be

made. In this case there are two choices: (1) be miserable,

angry and depressed to connect smoking with sickness or (2)

quit smoking.

       Don’t waver about what you want a young child to do. Be

clear with your messages. If you tell them that hitting is wrong,

don’t give them any exceptions, especially when they are too

young to understand. This is why our youngest students are not

permitted to spar. They have to become accustomed to the system

and recognize the difference between class and real life

you have to hit to defend yourself or to stop someone else from

being seriously harmed by another. But this is beyond a young

child’s comprehension.

Stanley C. Gault

       When Jen was three, she frequently accompanied her mother

to the supermarket. She liked to push the cart and pick out a

few items that mom wouldn’t have bought on her own, especially

treats out of the candy bin. While filling a small bag of

nonpareils for Jen, mom popped a few into her mouth. Being

the astute child that she is, Jen noticed that her mom did not

pay for those two or three items. She took that as her cue to eat

whatever she wanted before getting to the checkout line. After

all, if mom didn’t pay for those, she didn’t have to buy the

dozen or so in Jen’s baggie. So when mom wasn’t looking, Jen

discretely put the bag of candy in her coat pocket and slipped

them into her mouth one at a time. When mom got to the

checkout line, she didn’t even realize the nonpareils weren’t in

the cart. Jen didn’t complain about it when they got home, so it

didn’t even cross mom’s mind that something was missing. With

the candy out of sight, she didn’t even think about what might

have happened to it.

       Two days later mom was trying to pull Jen’s gloves out of the

pocket and she found the baggy with a few sprinkles at the bottom.

She was angry. She confronted Jen and was shocked to

hear her response.

       “Jen, you ate this candy without paying for it!” she said.

“But mommy you did it,” Jen said.

“What? No I didn’t.”

“But I saw you. You ate some when you were filling my bag.”

“But I only ate a couple,” Mom responded.

“So did I,” Jen said. “I ate one at a time, too.”

Jen was right. There was no way to explain the difference in

scope of stealing one nonpareil as opposed to a dozen. She

shouldn’t have set the precedent that it was okay to eat

anything before it’s paid for. She realized her mistake and decided

to do something to set Jen straight. She would have to

incriminate herself in the process.

        At the risk of her own embarrassment, she carted Jen to the

customer service line at the supermarket and asked to see the

supervisor. She explained what happened and said she wanted

to teach her daughter a lesson. The manager appreciated the

effort and agreed that Jen and her mom should be punished.

He charged them for an entire pound of nonpareils since he

had no way of measuring how much they ate. Plus, he said they

were not allowed to buy candy at the supermarket for the next

two months. Jen learned her lesson and mom will think twice

about the example she sets. Jen’s mom got a good lesson in

how closely her actions will be replicated by her child.

       Keep your word to your children. Credibility is very important.

They remember everything you say and especially everything

you don’t say. Children will remember what you do and how

you acted and they will not let you get away with it.

       The ability of a child will always be one step below that of the

parent, just as a team is only as strong as its weakest link. If your

ability to lead is a three, under your wing the child will struggle

to be a two. Whoever you lead will always be one step behind

you. If you don’t raise the bar on yourself, you won’t be pushing

them to their limits. Eventually they catch up to you and hopefully

surpass you. If you are a good leader, you will create good

leaders. When the bulk of your responsibility ends and the

horserace is on, there will be no question as to whether your

child will be leading the pack.

        Try this exercise to measure your ability and desire as a parent.

Draw the vertical and horizontal lines of a grid, like a giant

L. Label the vertical side “parenting leadership ability.” Label

the horizontal side “desire to be a great parent.” Where would

you rate yourself right now in desire and ability? Most parents

when faced with this challenge will plot a point far out on the

grid when it comes to desire. As for ability, the number could

be a one or two. Even though the desire has reached its limit,

ability needs to be nurtured.

Talking about parenting may motivate some people to think

about it more and be more excited about their desire. Some

parents want to learn everything there is to know about the subject.

The overall consensus is that parents have an immense

desire to fulfill that role well. The question is: What are they

doing to improve their ability.

     Leaps and bounds of progress are possible if parents are willing

to make the commitment. Improvement on the desire scale

is measured in tiny increments. On the ability scale, there is

more room for improvement to completely meet potential.

Do more than you are expected to do.

Encourage your children to do more than is required. Allow

them to be overachievers by challenging them to do more than

they think they can. I apply this teaching method in class. When

it is time to do push-ups, I assign the class 10, but implore the

overachievers to do 15. I say that the strongest kids—and they

should know who they are—should do 15. Most children will

strive for 15. They want to be in that category. And by going

that extra step, they are the strongest kids in class. They have

the strongest will and desire.

       Turn negatives into positives. Most people don’t like to sweat,

even children. If they work too hard in class and break a sweat,

some will stop trying because they feel uncomfortable. When a

guest instructor was at the school, he was pumped up and wanted

to leave a good impression on the class. The advanced class was

impressed with his skills and labored to keep up. When 14-year-old

Nathan was trembling as he tried to straighten his elbow for one

last push-up, the guest instructor wiped his fingers across Nathan’s

forehead and asked, “What’s this?”

       When Nathan dropped to the ground after his push-up, he halfsmiled

and answered,

“It’s sweat.”

“No it’s not,” he countered. “It’s progress!”

All of a sudden the sweat wasn’t so hot and sticky. It became a

symbol of accomplishment. The more you sweat in a workout, the

harder you work.

       Don’t be overly dramatic in your praise or punishment. Don’t

exaggerate the scope of a problem using words like “everybody”

“always” and “never.” It sounds ridiculous when

children do it and it is just as ridiculous when adults do it.

Some examples are:

“You never do your chores on time.”

“You are always on the phone.”

“Everybody’s doing it.”

“I’m the only person in the world who has to deal with this mess.”

       Dramatic generalizations belabor the point far beyond what is necessary.

The child does the chores on time sometimes, right? Is the

phone really in use 24 hours a day? And you’re never the only one.

The problems of raising children are universal.

       In the way it is explained to you, you child’s version of daily life

will be vastly different from what daily life is actually like. Things that

all the other kids are doing are most likely: (1) things some of the

child’s friends wants to be doing or (2) things a select few of the

child’s friends are doing, most likely because their parents think the

other kids are doing it or because they are not actively engaged in

the child’s life.

       Being a role model is a full-time job. When you fall down on that

job, learn from your misstep and don’t let it happen again.

Be a good role model. Set a good example. Be a Black Belt

Parent.

Chapter 12

       This chapter will touch on some of the ways we can help our

children cope with the ever-growing stress of life. As our children

grow, they learn the ways of the world. Our society puts

play. They have the rest of their lives to be adults.

Playing is one of the most important aspects of a child’s life

and is probably the best learning experience he or she will ever

have. Children learn 80% of all they learn in life by age five.

Your children rely on you to make wise choices for shaping their

future and guiding them down the right road. It is an unbelievable

responsibility to raise children, especially in this high speed

country we live in. The pressure is astounding. Kids are learning

things in the fifth grade many of today’s adults didn’t learn until

high school. We are bombarding our children with sports and

other after-school activities and some kids have tons of homework

plus all of the other daily chores and duties of life.

       Parents must incorporate two words into their Black Belt

foods for their proper physical and mental development.

Second, we must understand that moderation is the key to a

favorable and healthy diet. Diet is not used here in reference to

weight loss, but in the sense of a daily program of eating and

drinking proper foods. If parents do not take the responsibility

to make sure their children are eating right, I can guarantee you

they will think a “balanced breakfast” means a soda, two cream

filled donuts and a candy bar.

       As your children grow, train them as to what is good and

what is not good to eat. These days their taste senses are being

trained to love only sweets. Soon they will have been trained to

like only the sweetest and most colorful foods. But they can also

be trained to like the real foods that Mother Nature put here.

They can learn to love the taste of fresh fruit and how awesome

that treat is for the human body. They can learn to avoid the

artificially sweetened, processed, colored, dyed and preserved

foods that are so common in today’s society.

       As society has changed and we have gone from a one- to

two-income families, it is even harder to help our kids with life

events. Children are much more independent and much more

self sufficient then they used to be. We all need to drive the big

fancy car and have the surround sound and the cell phone, but

at what expense? Are we better off having more independent

children or should we try to keep them children until they

decide to turn into young adults? What can we, as parents, do

to help and guide our children through life, not only when they

are children but as adults? With the proper guidance of a parent

and other great role models, our children will make excellent

parents.

       Children are a factory of ever growing and ever changing

cells. These cells, whether cells of the brain, heart, arms, legs or

toes multiply at an extraordinary rate. To do this, they need

energy and that energy comes in the form of food.

Food the cells need to survive must be from the best source

possible. Many food companies add colors and dyes to foods to

make them appear more appealing and to attract us into buying

them. They especially use the ingredients in the foods targeted

to our children.

       We have more than sugar to worry about. Many of

today’s foods are loaded with food coloring and dyes. There

is a publication in the federal government known as publication

96-252 and it prohibits the Federal Trade Commission

(FTC) from enacting rules that would protect our kids from

being exploited by advertisers. What is wrong with these

added colors and dyes? They reflect light at a specific

wavelength. These wavelengths can interact with the DNA

in our bodies and cause cancer. Many colors and dyes have

been pulled from the safe list because they have been found

to cause cancer or other degenerative diseases. This is

another reason to make sure that your children are eating only

the best foods.

       Another subject we need to ponder is what happens to these

artificial ingredients when we heat them through cooking. These

are for the most part chemical compounds that have been created

in a laboratory. Most chemicals when heated change their

molecular state. What state are they changing to and what will

that altered state do to our bodies?

       Think about your car for a moment, if you put regular gas in a

car that needs premium you’re going to get substandard performance.

If you put premium fuel in that same car you’ll get

premium performance. Kids are the race cars of society. How

many times have you said, “If I only had a quarter of that kid’s

energy?” Where does this energy come from? It comes form

the fuels that you put in their gas tank. These fuels have to be of

the highest quality and they have to be all natural. The human

body is all natural, nothing fake. The foods the all-natural body

has to have must also be all natural. Kids need the real thing to

sustain their bodies so they can perform like the miracles they

are.

       We all know that without food we can’t survive. Without

water our survival is in even more jeopardy. Water makes up

about 90 percent of our blood. It helps the blood to flow as

well as keeping the kidneys clean and the liver functioning as

designed. When you feel thirsty, it is already too late. Your body

is giving you a warning sign that you need to drink. At this

point, you have already started to dehydrate. It is essential that

we take in enough water to assure proper functioning of our

bodily systems. Six to eight glasses a day is about right for the

average human.

       Food is the energy our bodies need to run. Good food is the

energy our bodies need to run right. As we learn more and

more about proper eating habits it is so evident that we as a

society do not eat right. In America, children and teenagers

drink about 54 billion dollars worth of soft drinks a year. That’s

about 14 million gallons per year and about 868 cans per kid

per year. This is staggering. Do you think the soft drink industry

is interested in your child’s health or are they interested in profits?

The soft drink and junk food industries target children. All

they are interested in is getting us to drink more and to train our

kids to spend a life time of eating and drinking their sugary

products. Here’s another statistic that will floor you: 25% to

30% of our children are clinically obese in this country.

We need to supervise our children’s lives and that includes

what they eat. This is one of the most important aspects of their

growth. Reading the ever growing list of attention deficit syndromes

that our children have is scary. Why is this list on what

seems to be a continual growth pattern? Take the time to look

and understand what our children are eating in this country and

you will begin to understand why we have labels such as ADD

and ADHD. These two conditions have been overdiagnosed.

Why are so many children being labeled with this acronym?

Look at the foods we are letting our children consume.

Remember, the major food companies are most interested in

profits.

       We have a responsibility to teach our children what is right

and wrong. As our children are being fed this sugar-laced junk

food, they are being trained that this is the way to eat. Sugar in

that form creates a quick high, but after the high a depression

sets in. First, the sugars that are used in soft drinks and candy

are horrible for us to consume. Cane sugar is taken to the factory

and run through a press. This press squeezes out all of the

water and juice. After it is pressed, it is then bleached so it looks

pretty and white. Next, all of the nutrients are taken out and

finally it is crystallized. This is total garbage.

       As our children consume fake cereals with all of that sugar,

they get an instant high. About an hour later they start to come

off of this high and are mentally and physically doomed. As their

bodies realize that they are starved for energy, they look for

food. Now comes the worst part. They have been trained to

look for the high-sugar processed foods, the quick fix, the sugar

rush. The roller coaster ride begins goes on all day until finally at

night they crash and go to bed.

       The average American eats about 63 pounds of candy a year.

That’s the average American, including adults. Children I am

sure are much higher. In 1999, we spent more on sugar, about

158 pounds per person, than in the history of the country and

we wonder why our kids are so hyperactive. A 1995 study

found that sugar taken on an empty stomach led to an inability

to concentrate.

       There is an alternative: fruit. Fruit with all of its natural sugars

takes a little more time to affect the energy level but once it

does, it is there to stay for quite a long period of time. As they

go throughout the day eating properly and understanding what

is and is not good for them, their bodies become regulated. We

can train our taste buds to like any kind of food. It is time to

train them to like real good, tasty, quality natural foods.

Parents must take the initiative to understand and become

aware of what is out there in the food market and what is and is

not good for both themselves and their children. Remember that

the food industry does not care and neither does the Federal

Government.

       Get a box of your children’s favorite cereal and read the ingredients.

First thing on the list or one of the first things will be

sugar. Next, you’ll see one or two or maybe even three of the

FD&C dyes or colors, many of which are known to cause

degenerative diseases. What else is on that list? Probably some

kind of preservative and I am sure one of the hydrogenated oils.

All of the hydrogenated oils are bad for you. The human body

does not recognize these oils, colors, dyes and preservatives.

       Now let’s go back and think about why our children are so

hyperactive. Does anyone really know at this point what these

fake ingredients are doing to us? Fortunately there are groups

out there starting to study the problem. They are finding that

these things are not good for us.

       As the food industry continues to try and sell us on their

goods, they must become ever more creative. Green ketchup?

Purple ketchup? Come on, give me a break. What are they trying

to do? Can ketchup sales be that bad? Another company

now makes pink and blue butter to try and boost their sales. I

guess the competition in the butter industry is really tough.

       Profits are the underlying drive of these companies. The problem

is similar to that with the soft drink companies. We do not

fully understand what these colors and dyes are doing to us. A

child’s body is constantly growing and using the foods that he

or she eats to build the cells that make the body. All of these

foreign substances being introduced makes it hard to believe

that the body can do its job. What are these laboratory foods

doing to our children?

       Let’s talk a little about the lunch program. There has been

much pressure put on the school system to provide lunch and

even breakfast for our children. Kids are going to school hungry

because we don’t have the time to make them a good breakfast.

been on while asleep. It is the most important meal of the day,

especially for children. A child’s body is a fuel guzzling

engine that must have complete nourishment.

       Take a good look at the foods that are being served at

our schools and you will be amazed. The food—and I use

that term loosely—at our schools is disgusting. No wonder

the kids are sitting there like they have ants in their

pants. Once again it comes back to us, the parents, who

are ultimately responsible for our children’s nourishment.

What can we do to help our children to calm down,

sleep better and have the energy to make it through a

school day without falling asleep, failing subjects, wearing

out in gym class and having to take drugs to control

hyperactivity? To begin we must make sure that they get

enough sleep. That’s essential. You and especially your

children should be getting at least eight hours of sleep a

night. Children frequently tell me about the television

programs they watched the previous night. Often, these

shows were not even suitable for a child to be watching

and were on much too late.

       Why do we have to sleep? This is one of the many

mysteries of the world, but we do know that without it

you die. Sleep is when the brain refuels. Sleep helps

growth and development, conserves energy, lowers

the brain temperature, enhances memory and

enhances the immune system. Proper sleep and proper

nutrition will make the time at school much easier for your children.

Here are some startling statistics about what our kids are and

are not eating. Only 34% of boys and 33% of girls are eating

the recommended amount of vegetables. That leaves the rest,

66% of boys and 67% of girls, not eating the recommended

amount. Only 11% of boys and 16% of girls are eating the recommended

amount of fruit. That leaves 89% of boys and 84%

of girls deficient in fruit intake. Most kids are not eating the recommended

amount of grains and protein. Clearly, the vast

majority of our children are not eating properly.

There is something else to consider when we are talking

about food and the ingredients that are in the foods we are eating.

Let’s take a look at some of the additives that are put into

our foods to make them look nicer and more colorful, and look

at some of the adverse effects that some of these dyes and colors

have on the human body.

FD&C Red No. 40 Tumors / Lymphomas

Citrus Red No. 2 Cancer in animals

FD&C Blue No. 2 Brain tumors

Bronchonstriction

FD&C Yellow No. 6 Kidney tumors

Brain tumors

FD&C Yellow No. 6 (cont’d) Allergies

Vomiting

Indigestion

Distaste for food

And eight other

adverse effects

       These statistics are astounding and we, as the parenting force

of this country, should be ashamed of the diets our children are

eating. Not only have these chemicals been linked to some of

the most degenerative diseases in the world, they have been

under scrutiny for possibly having some effect with neurotransmitters

of the brain. This may possibly have some effect on concentration

and behavioral changes especially in children.

       There are so many easy and delicious foods we can make for

breakfast and many foods that we can send with our children

for lunch. Let’s start with breakfast. First, commit to quality and

get only the best quality foods. We want foods with no preservatives,

artificial colors and dyes and no foods with hydrogenated

oils. We want whole grains, natural sugars, and plenty of fruit.

Remember fruit contains the natural sugars to give them the

energy to make it through the day.

       In the morning there are many different kinds of frozen waffles

that you can just pop in the toaster. After they are done,

add some good berries and maple syrup. Cereal is another great

breakfast item. Again, remember what ingredients should and

berries, bananas, raspberries, almost any kind of fruit that you

can think of. Use skim milk or better yet some of the soy or rice

milks that are on the market and again you can feel good about

sending them to school.

     What else makes a good breakfast? Another fast and easy

idea is whole wheat toast with preserves and a glass of orange

juice. Whatever your choices are, make sure they include at

least one or more type of fruit. If you take a minute to think

about it, you will be able to give them the fuel they need to get

them started and to run until lunch.

       Lunch is probably one of the most difficult meals to make.

First, you have to make something that is portable and that will

last a few hours. The old staple of peanut butter and jelly is

always a good idea, but make sure that the peanut butter is

100% natural. Many of the major brands have a lot of sugar and

hydrogenated oils. Make sure the preserves are all natural with

no artificial colors or dyes. Smooth it on good, high-quality

bread for an excellent source of energy to carry them through

the rest of the day. As an alternative, you can always use

almond butter instead of peanut butter. You can make this sandwich

in about a thousand varieties.

       There are many wholesome prepared lunches, but you have

to read the labels. Be wary. Many of these prepared foods marketed

to our children are fit for neither man nor beast.

to send a drink, then there are many great drinks that are all natural

and without all of the sugars regular sodas and fake fruit

juices contain. Some soy and rice drinks are awesome. They

taste great, are very nutritious and come in different flavors.

There are also natural sodas free of chemicals or preservatives.

These drinks will help your child to make it through the rest of

the day without any sugar rushes or any down time after the

sugar rush. Proper nutrition fuels the body and brain for hours.

There is no healthy substitute for good quality, nutritious food.

There is also no emotional substitute for sitting down and having

a great healthy meal with the family. This serves not only as

a great way to introduce children to good foods, but also to

learn what’s going on in their lives. Involvement is the key to

having your child grow up to be the wonderful person that he

or she can be. A child is a precious gift to all parents and the

best gift you will ever have. Take the time to nourish body and

soul to the best of your ability and you will get nothing in return

but love from your child. Remember, to be a parent and not a

friend. The lessons you teach, for good or ill, will be carried on

for generations.

        Why not practice Black Belt Parenting and know that what

you teach will be having a positive influence for generations to

come?

www.thenutritiontree.com

(215) 357-1952